Thursday, November 10, 2016

So I just send out these updates because I need to share more for therapy for myself than anything. It’s hard to keep all that is happening to myself because I get excited and this way it helps me process.  So instead of writing a journal, I write an email.  🙂  So please don’t feel like you have to respond every time I write.  I don’t know if I’m giving you more information that you care to know about, but just realize it’s good for me.  Here’s my day:
This morning on Facebook somebody posted the Phillipians 4:8 verse which fit perfectly with what I talked about with my psychologist about the lies the eating disorder tells.  And I’ve thought of it that way before – that it’s Satan in my head telling me lies about what not to eat or what I look like or how much I need to run, and then God telling me to ignore those lies and believe the truth.  The therapist didn’t use Satan and God of course, but that’s what it is.  So that verse was perfect for me this morning when I woke up that I need to focus and hear God’s voice and think on those things.  And then later in the day my dear sister Missy sent me a picture of her devotional based off of that verse and again the devotional was God speaking right to my heart where I needed to hear him.  Missy had no idea I had already read that verse today.  Then when Josh and Joni came to visit and I told her that, she said that that had been the verse her devotional had been based off of too.  But the cool thing was also that in one of my meetings on coping strategies we did an activity where we had to pick a color that showed how we were feeling.  I picked yellow because to me that’s brightness, illumination, the light bulb going off, understanding new things and happiness.  That was me today.  We had to draw a picture with our color and I wrote that verse in the middle with a lightbulb.  And me, shy and quiet Rhonda who never says anything outloud in a crowd, had no reservations about speaking up and sharing that verse and how I see the eating disorder as Satan’s voice and needing to hear God’s voice over that.  I don’t know if the other ladies understood that because I don’t believe any of them are Christians, but it was easy for the first time in my life to just speak about my faith to people who don’t know.  And the more I get to know the people here and see how deeply their struggles run, I want them to know they don’t have to struggle by themselves.  Some are here for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and more times because it is so so hard to break out of the crazy cycle.
I also had my first meeting with the chaplain.  I don’t think she is used to having someone in her office who actually believes in the bible and openly talks about her faith.  She seemed a bit caught off guard at first, but that was good to talk to her.  I told her about the verse today and the devotional I read at 1:30 in the morning that first night.  She said we can meet again just to talk and maybe do a bible study or whatever together.  So that’s nice to hear too.
And of course ending the day with Joni and Josh and Benj’s aunt Barb was great.  It sounds like I will be here until the day before Thanksgiving which is good.  My care team, Benj, me all agree that I need to stay as long as I can to get the tools I need.  But coming home the day before Thanksgiving is going to make this Thanksgiving probably the best one I’ve ever had.  I will work very hard up until that moment and then continue working hard.  My case manager is hooking me up with a therapist and dietician in Sioux Falls who just happens to be the same person that a lady at Sioux Center hospital voluntarily recommended to Benj just because she had heard what was going on.  So I”m getting my support team put together for my return home.  Besides all of you as well.
The best way I ended my day – guys ignore this – I shaved with the electric razor Benj sent with Joni for me.  No more prickles since we aren’t allowed razors obviously.  You know me and my shave everyday – smooth makes for a happy sleep.  I hope all of you are well and having a fabulous week!  I had to ask someone but it is Friday tomorrow apparently.  How time flies.  Blessings!

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