Mindset matters. More than anything. Defeated, determined, negative, positive, self-pitying, ready to conquer the world – whatever your mindset, your actions will follow.
The last couple weeks my mindset has been so negative, I didn’t even feel like writing about it. I didn’t feel like thinking about it or fixing it. I wallowed in it. It’s the pity party syndrome and I have been perfecting it this past month.
But the past few days, I’ve been working hard to self-reflect, and let me just say, self reflection is no easy task. My brain feels tired. Tired from self reflecting, but being negative in general makes my brain tired. I feel like my brain is tied to an anchor dragging the bottom of the lake.
My self reflection has tunneled through a lot of thoughts, but all tunnels keep leading me to one point: I am negative because I’ve been focusing on me. My life the past weeks has revolved around Rhonda. That my life is so hard. That other people are not doing what I want them to. That my boys aren’t listening to me. That things aren’t going my way. That my students aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be. That I’m sick of the weather. Poor me. Hence, my pity party parties on in full swing. My mindset has focused completely on me so that I’ve missed reaching out to others. Even more, I’ve completely missed reaching out to God. I’ve missed Him.
My negative mindset has multiplied it’s own negativity until I can’t even see through the haze of my own fog machine. I’ve looked inward and downward instead of up and out. That drags me down, makes my brain tired, and creates a party fizzle attended by me alone.
My humble suggestions on how to break the cycle of negative mindset:
- Recognize negativity for what it is: joy stealer
- Step forward whether you feel like it or not
- Talk to God, whether you feel like it or not
- Do one nice thing for someone else, and maybe, just maybe, that will lead to another, and another, and another . . .
- Smile, whether you feel like it or not
- Hug your children instead of yelling at them when they aren’t listening
- Listen to music that fills your soul
- Listen to a podcast that will help you personally grow
- Surround yourself with friends instead of burying yourself all alone
- Eat ice cream with M&Ms and whipped cream on top
- Read a good book
- Unload your frustrations out on a friend who will listen, love you, and then pick you up and give you a swift kick in the pants (toward that first step forward)
- Make a list of your blessings
- Make a list of what you’re thankful for
- Make a list of areas you need to grow
- Make work of finding ways to grow in the areas you need to grow
- Take on a challenge and finish it
- Focus out instead of in
Negative mindset will steal your joy, unless you find your way back to its source. God doesn’t walk away; our negativity drags us away. God doesn’t turn his back, our negativity flips us on our backside. God doesn’t ignore us; our negative mindset ignores God. This is a battle to continually fight, for joy to have a clear line of sight between us and our faithful Lord and Savior. Take the first step, because even if the first step is a baby step, it will eventually lead to a dance step. Let Jesus lead. He is a beautiful dancer and an incredible Leader. He will lead us out of the haze of a foggy dance floor and onto the stage of the life he’s created us for.