You know the right choice. You know what you have to do, but to admit it – admitting to it, seems unthinkable. Because if you make this decision, and you do what you know deep down that you need to do, it might hurt. It might hurt because it will mean saying no to the half-life you’ve been clinging to for so long.
This is an impossible decision because you only see right now. You only see the reality you live in at this moment. And even if the reality right now sucks, you at least know what to expect out of it. You can wake up tomorrow and know exactly what to expect out of your day. No matter how monotonous of an existence it is, it’s yours to live safely. Making this decision will mean blindly trusting that when you take a step toward this choice, your foot will indeed touch solid ground. Because right now, you see only pea-soup fog in an unknown void. Making this decision means living scared.
But, friend, you know the right choice.
Who is to say that what’s on the other side of that fog isn’t a brilliant world of light and life? Who can say that through the fog you’ll reveal an inner strength to your character that your previous life never allowed you to show? Who can say that after the fog you will find opportunities to live a life redeemed to be a light to others struggling with the same decision you had to make. And without your experience trudging through the fog, they will never make it to the other side themselves. What if you could be the catalyst for a life saved?
Maybe on the other side of the fog, you will find a Joy Today that you didn’t know was yours to have.
If you are here, standing on this line, staring at the fog, let’s think together about the next best thing you can do. Here are some questions to help you decide:
- Do you feel trapped?
- Is your day ruled by a routine that feels safe simply because it means you don’t have to make any unfamiliar decisions?
- Has anyone ever questioned your lifestyle, concerned that the choices you are making may be more harmful than helpful?
- Are you happy – overall content with how your life is going?
- Are you part of community, close to friends and family, both giving support and accepting it?
- When someone voices concern for you, do you get defensive, angry, and even scared of their perceived interference?
- When was the last time you felt peace in your mind, heart, and soul?
- Do you feel guilty when you don’t follow the rules you’ve set for yourself, and then depressed because you feel like a failure?
- Do you rotate between feeling in control of your life and completely out of control?
- Do you ever feel different from other people, and wonder why?
How do your answers point to your next best thing?
You know what your hard choice has to be. I know you know because I was where you are. I knew what I had to do, but I was too scared to move forward. I let fear bury my feet in the ground. I couldn’t choose to step into the fog because fear is a powerful opponent. I couldn’t picture a life other than the one I had, even though I knew something was very wrong with how I was living. The fog terrified me.
Fear is strong. Fear is ugly. Fear is debilitating. Fear is a bully.
I couldn’t make the hard choice, so I needed someone else to make it for me. I fought against it, but deep down in my hidden heart, I was grateful for that push. That push proved that someone loved me stronger than fear’s hold. It proved that love wasn’t going to put up with my bull. Love stepped with me into the fog, and fought with me into the light on the other side.
Trust that the most beautiful peace in this life comes from letting go.
How do I know? Experience. Because I’ve been where you are. If you need someone to take your hand and walk beside you, I will be your person. If you need faith that you can make it, I will believe in you even when you cannot. If you need strength to make it through the hard days, I’ll put on my boxing gloves and teach you some moves. If you need support to help carry the burden of the fog off your shoulders, don’t worry, I’ve been lifting weights.
And even more than that, I will pray God’s love over you. Whether you acknowledge him or not, I do. And I acknowledge the power he has to master the fog and bring you home. All he asks is that you let go of the lifeless existence that he knows you desperately long to shed.
Make the Hard Choice
Ask for help. Cry your tears. But never stop putting one foot in front of the other. Even if it’s because of a push.
You don’t get to give up. I won’t let you and God says that option is off the table.
You are loved. Let’s go together. To the other side of the fog. I’ve been on both sides, and I promise, I promise, the other side is beautiful.
Make the hard choice. Move.
Because this is your line in the sand. You are going to choose Joy Today.
How do I know?
You wouldn’t be reading these words if you hadn’t already chosen. Deep down, dear friend, you already know you’ve made the choice. God already wrote it onto your heart. You want more than fear from this one life you’ve been given.
You have already chosen. Now you just have to admit it. Say it out loud. Right now.
I choose Joy Today.
Accept my push, God’s love, and your ability to move.
Let me help you take the next steps:
List of Eating Disorder Treatment Facilities
National Eating Disorders Association – Where to Start?