I don’t have a full length mirror anymore. Benj got rid of it, upon my request, while I was in treatment when I finally began to realize that looking perfect isn’t worth it. I had spent more time than I care to admit analyzing myself in that full length mirror.
To tell you the truth, I became an expert at scoping out a mirror pretty much everywhere I went. Shopping through Walmart, I’d pass a full length mirror in the clothes section and sneak a peak at how I looked walking past. At night any window turned into a mirror, giving me a quick glance at my reflection. How many times in a public restroom did I have to do an embarrassed switch from staring at myself in the mirror to washing my hands when someone walked in.
Every flipping time I could see my reflection, I’d have to make sure I looked . . . Perfect.
What a load of bunk.
Looking Perfect Isn’t Worth It
Who gets to define what perfect looks like and what it doesn’t? Obviously ED thought he had the checklist memorized and had the right to hold the red pen whenever he deemed it necessary to put me in my place.
- Butt too big in those jeans
- Thighs rubbing together in the swimsuit
- Stomach bulging through the dress
- Arms flabby in the tank top
- Muffin top present (run and hide)
I won’t lie and say that I’m completely content with how my body looks naked. But who in the world gets to see me naked walking out on the street? Why is it even important to look good naked?
If I feel uncomfortable in a pair of jeans, why don’t I buy a pair that makes me feel sexy instead? (Yes, I said sexy at 40 something years of age.) Mom jeans are not mandatory after pregnancy, breastfeeding, and little league.
If I’m sporting a muffin top, why am I wearing a waistband that’s too tight at just the right spot to accentuate something that wouldn’t be there if I was wearing clothes that fit my body type?
If the buttons on my blouse are straining to stay tied, for goodness sakes, simple fix – buy a shirt that fits properly across the ladies. Who wants to keep readjusting all day long to make sure no gaps are giving a peep show.
Not me.
Clothes can make us feel beautiful when we wear what complements our body.
But we need to go deeper than just making sure we feel good in our clothes.
We should feel comfortable in our body no matter what.
I’ve spent a bit of time agonizing over the crease in my back and the cellulite in my legs and the bit of wiggle in my arms. But when I catch myself analyzing the “don’t likes”, I stop and I click on my LOGICAL button.
And my logical brain asks, Why does any of that matter?
I’m pretty sure Benj couldn’t care less. He loves me the way I am. He didn’t marry my thighs. My family won’t disown me for not being Victoria-Secret-model worthy. And seriously, can those models really be enjoying life to the fullest when they know they have to parade around in their skivvies all the time? Seems like a lot of pressure to me. I’d rather be able to enjoy ice cream with my boys while watching a movie on a Saturday night than have to worry if I’ll be able to wear a bikini next summer.
For Pete’s sake. Is spending life worrying about stuff like that worth it?
How about this:
- How about we content ourselves on eating a balanced diet, in tune with our hunger cues, not our emotions.
- How about we wear clothes that bring out the beauty of living a life focused on being godly women put here for the purpose of glorifying the One who created us just the way He wanted us to be.
- How about we use our mirrors as reflections of a beautiful, God-designed body built to house a soul that longs to live in eternity with our Creator who loves us.
- How about we focus on our blessings and on enjoying each day as a gift to be opened every single morning.
- How about we strive to love others.
- How about we strive to love ourselves.
There is no checklist to perfect. Because looking perfect isn’t worth it. Perfect is nothing more than an airbrushed photo on the cover of a magazine. Instead, let’s use this standard for quality:
And God looked at what he had made, and he said, “This is very good.”
You are very good. Naked or not, with or without a mirror, you, dear friend, are . . .
Good.
Love this. So hard to remember at times but so true!
It is hard – I have to remind myself almost daily sometimes. But I use it as a trigger to kick in my logic! Life is way better without the body-hating. 🙂
Thanks Rhonda! Every women need to read this post! Thanks for sharing all of the things we feel inside most days!
I wonder sometimes if I’m the only one who thinks these things, but then I remind myself that there has to be at least one other person and hopefully they will read my blog and we can encourage each other through it. :). So thank you for the comment.
Hi, Rhonda! My name is Mary Carver, and I work for the editors of ForEveryMom.com and FaithIt.com. (I’m also a fellow Hope*Writer!) This post is SO good, and I really think our readers would be encouraged by it.
I’m writing to ask if you’d give us permission to publish that piece on our sites. Of course we would give you full credit as author, link back to the original post, and include your bio and head shot. Just include a brief bio (100 words or less), a head shot (hi-res photo as a JPG), and any links you’d like us to include with your response.
We have approximately 2 million Facebook followers who we promote our posts to, and we’d love to partner with you in sharing great content with them! Also, if you have any other articles you’d like us to consider for publication, I’d be more than happy to take a look!
I look forward to connecting with you more. Please let me know if you have any questions at all, and if you’re interested in sharing your words with our readers!
Mary
Hi Mary, I would love to share this post with you on your sites. What is the best way to send you information?
Rhonda
You are beautiful inside and out .
You have a beautiful soul full of grace and encouragement. God made you perfect . Love Marla
Thank you, Marla, for your kind comment. That is a true compliment.